I went to an awesome workshop a few weeks ago put on by Dr. Sue Goldswain and John Boland. I won’t try to summarize anything I learned, but if you ever need a marriage counsellor – definitely look to these two as an option.
One thing that did pop up though was that it takes two people to build a relationship and two people to take a relationship down. If a relationship ends up in divorce, both parties played a part.
It was nice to hear that it wasn’t all my fault :).
It got me thinking though. I hear a lot of different stories about how a marriage has failed or is failing and I have noticed something. The person that does more blaming of the other person appears to be hurting more emotionally.
The way I came to this was through my own path of blame. Boy did I hate my ex when we first separated and boy was I unhappy. He was such a horrible person – how could I have married such a horrible person?
As my blame has slowly dissipated (it has turned to gratitude actually) I feel so much happier.
How are you feeling about your relationship? Are you blaming your significant other? How does that make you feel? Is it fixing your relationship?