This post is part of a series I call Christmas, where I’ve explored my complicated relationship with the holiday over the years.

The first time Christmas turned up in my posts was in 2014. It was my second Christmas as a single parent. In 2016, it made an appearance in my post related to things you can control and things you can’t. Christmas started to get it’s own post in 2019 with my Trigger Warning post. I almost felt at peace with Christmas in 2020 when in the midst of COVID-19, that was my COVID Christmas and now we are in 2024 and I’m finally walking the talk and designing a Christmas that I can have a relationship with.

Despite my efforts to embrace it, I’ve never quite managed to feel at home with Christmas. It leaves me wondering—should I let it go altogether?

We often hear the saying, “People come into our lives to teach us something about ourselves.” But it’s not just people. Our experiences, traditions, and the roles we play in life also reflect who we are and where we are on our journey.

Sometimes, we find ourselves revisiting the same challenges or feelings, like a loop we can’t break. These moments, though often painful, are influential teachers. They call us to reflect, grow, and change direction when we’re ready. It’s part of being human: we’re wired for connection and belonging, which can tether us to relationships and traditions, even when they don’t serve us anymore.

For me, Christmas has become one of those loops. Year after year, I find myself stuck in the same struggles, longing for something different yet feeling the pull of tradition, expectation, and connection.

What’s Weighing Us Down About Christmas?

Consumerism That Feels Hollow

The pressure to buy, give, and accumulate creates clutter—not just in our homes but also in our minds and hearts. How many gifts have gone unused, their purpose lost after the moment has passed? This cycle feels like a personal and global burden as we grapple with its environmental and emotional costs.

Environmental Impact

Decorating, traveling, and consuming without mindfulness harm our planet. The irony is stark: in our quest to celebrate joy, we often leave behind waste and depletion.

The Weight of Perfection

For those of us who are natural nurturers or people-pleasers, the responsibility to “make Christmas special” can feel like an overwhelming task. Single parents, especially, carry this load while juggling other responsibilities. Despite our best efforts, it’s easy to feel like we’re falling short—haunted by comparisons and unmet expectations.

A New Perspective on Christmas

Here’s the truth: we don’t have to do things as they’ve always been. What if we allowed ourselves to redefine Christmas—not as a season of excess, but as a time to align with what truly matters?

🎄 Simplify with Intention

Instead of overloading on gifts, focus on shared experiences or small, meaningful gestures. Ask yourself: What would bring joy, not just now, but in the long term?

🌍 Honor the Planet

Choose sustainability where you can, such as buying handmade decorations, avoiding unnecessary travel, or buying second-hand gifts; small shifts can make a big difference.

💛 Choose Connection Over Obligation

Release yourself from draining traditions and create new ones that reflect your values and bring peace. Connection doesn’t need to come at the expense of your mental health or authenticity.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do for ourselves and our families is step back, question the status quo, and decide what serves us. For me, it’s about finding a version of Christmas that feels uplifting and aligned—not one that leaves me overwhelmed or resentful.

What if this year, instead of rushing through or bowing to tradition, we paused, reflected, and allowed ourselves the freedom to create a holiday season that nurtures us?

It’s not easy to change, but growth never is. And maybe that’s the real gift of Christmas: the chance to learn, unlearn, and love ourselves enough to choose a better path.