This post is part of a series I call Christmas, where I've explored my complicated relationship with the holiday over the years. The first time Christmas turned up in my posts was in 2014. It was my second Christmas as a single parent. In 2016, it made an appearance in my post related to things [...]
What do we know about systems? Once they are up and running, they tend to get stronger and stronger; they become systemized! I only have to look at the systems we have in our household to see just how entrenched they have become. Who makes dinner? Me. Who cleans up after dinner? Me again. Who [...]
For much of my life, I've tried to fit into situations and conversations that never quite fit me back. My grandma used to say, "There you go, being contrary again; that's the Smith in you." She meant it as a quip about my argumentative streak, supposedly inherited from her husband's side of the family. But [...]
I know how lost and exhausted you must feel right now. While my experience may not be identical to yours, I’ve walked a similar road, and I still remember how hard it was. When I suddenly had to share parenting with my ex, my kids were just 4 and 7. It felt impossible. I knew [...]
Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash Systems are insidious - they keep us trapped when we know better. How do we escape the system? I don't know. I'm part of it, it surrounds me, and I can't elude it, and I'm forced to be complicit. The Family Justice System is one of the systems - [...]
Hi Ian I am going to imagine you're reading this. I scrolled up a bit to when we last messaged each other. We hadn't talked for a while, but you said you were struggling but coping. I know you have been struggling and coping with pain for a long time. I hope you have found [...]
Photo by Naja Bertolt Jensen on Unsplash Do you ever have revelations when you say to yourself: "Oh, now I know why that is a saying!" I do. In fact, despite having a revelation about a saying, I seem to forget that I've already had that revelation because I feel like I'm constantly having "revelations." [...]
Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash There have been memes regarding teenagers before the word "meme" existed. The one that I recall seeing on little plaques in bookstores and novelty shops: "Teenage grandkids are every grandparent's secret revenge on their own teenagers." I don't think my parents need revenge against me; I was a saint. [...]
I'm an accountant. Accountants are notoriously bad at communication. Often, someone chooses to become an accountant because numbers are so straightforward. They are clear, concise, and easy to line up, deal with and sort. They are usually associated with projects and decisions with clear outcomes. I have stated it and will repeat it – I [...]
When telling the story of my divorce, at some point, I say, " I was lucky that when my spouse and I separated, the news was spotlighting the Collaborative Process." A news article led us to find the perfect lawyers to help us transform our lives and get us back on track. When I discovered [...]