I recently came across this article: https://justbetweenus.org/relationships/parenting-advice/the-invisible-mother/

It is supposed to make me feel better or shame me into silence. It doesn’t.

We are training the caretakers of our society, the primary caregiving parents, the teachers, and other support workers that their work doesn’t count. I see this every day in the work I do to help people navigate their separation and divorce when the main breadwinner of the family turns to me and says: “I supported this family and worked incredibly hard to do so, I’m not sure what my spouse was doing when I worked.”

I see that divorce becomes all about money and families destroyed because of that. 

I see it whenever the teachers go on strike and have to fight to teach the best way they can and have to justify their value to society.

I see the arguments that the only way this work will be recognized is by assigning value to it by paying a person a wage to do this work. Is that the way to give something value? Perhaps in our society, it is. 

I see the people that have to negotiate getting paid for this work are so inundated with caring for our society that they are unable to take the time to do this negotiation.

I see that if they do manage to set aside time to negotiate for a wage or acknowledgment, they then have to overcome the hurdle of a disapproving society who shames then, as this article does, for asking for real recognition.

Therefore, I will continue to draw attention to this incredibly valuable work because I have the capacity to do so. I am one of the lucky ones.