Time

I start new posts all the time.  These posts are usually about time. I say start because I often run out of time and never finish these posts I’ve started.

Actually – my post attempts are getting less and less frequent. Why is that?

I don’t have time to even start posts these days.

I realized this a few months ago but I still don’t want to admit it to myself.

I am admitting it this morning on the tail end of the Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend.

I am visiting my sister and this morning I woke up (post Thanksgiving dinner so no more dinner prep to worry about), got the crew fed and then sat on the couch and stared at my phone. Eventually I got bored of Facebook and so I checked my email. I answered the questions sent by a few clients and found myself wondering what to do next.

My kids seemed to be quiet for the moment (well – one has currently sequestered himself to his foamie as he is mad – but after checking on him I have decided to leave him alone at his request ) and the other is happily playing with his cousin who he now gets all to himself.

I read a few pages of my book and  then I put it down.

Then I just sat there and I started pondering.

“What do you want to do?” I thought to myself.

“I want to help solve the world’s problems.” (I do get some lofty goals sometimes).

“Well, that’s not going to happen (me still talking to myself) but I do want to share my experience with time and how it seems to cure all my problems.”

Just last week my life was out of control. Everything was just too much. I felt like crying most days. I was at the point where I just wanted to do something dramatic to get my life back on track.  That’s my old method of dealing with pain. Doing something dramatic does change things for a while but it doesn’t solve the underlying problem. But it does seem like a quick solution…

In my case, the underlying problem is that I’d taken on a bit too much (sometimes that happens if you want to help cure the world – ha ha).

So instead of doing something dramatic I decided to take some time to figure out what it was that I needed to do. I took some time to build some more time and space into my life.

Instead of trying to finish everything that was on my to do list, I started figuring out ways to postpone what was on my to do list. I did the absolutely essential things I needed to do. I took time to eat well, I also finally caved and went to the grocery store so I could feed my kids as well. I went to bed when my kids went to bed, I emailed clients and clarified what work needed to be done and by when and I started to turn down new work that was coming in and requests from friends to hang out. I finally went to yoga  – I hadn’t been since August 18th.

As I built time into my life and started to see how I could continue to do this going forward my problems seemed to get better.

And as I did all these things I thought back to that most stressful time in my life. That time when I was navigating my separation and divorce. I remember my natural inclination to plow my way through that period of my life to get it done and I remember how that method and approach to separation and divorce did not lead to a very good outcome. I had a divorce but I also had depression.

And then I thought of the people that I am now helping navigate their separation and divorce by helping them glean information about their financial situation. I notice how some clients take their time as they figure out their new life circumstances and how some want it done and want it done now.  Can you guess which clients have a better outcome?

Yes, the ones that take time to build the lives they want. The ones that take time to let emotions settle before subjecting themselves to discussions with their spouse. The ones that take time to take care of themselves so they don’t take take their anger and frustrations out on their children.

I am reminded by clients that taking time and care is how I want to live my life going forward and that I should practice what I preach.

So this Thanksgiving I am grateful for the extra day we get on this long weekend. It was this bonus day that gave me the time I needed to remember to bring time and space back to my life.

Happy Thanksgiving!

By | 2017-10-09T21:21:25+00:00 October 9th, 2017|Divorce Self-Help, Self-Help|0 Comments

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