Lately I’ve been realizing that my assumptions often get me into hot water.
So to figure out if you have similar money issues to me, I’d better tell you my money history (yes again).
I have always had the fear and thought that there is not enough money. I’m afraid it will run out or that something will happen to stop the flow of money into my life.
This is the thought I operate from: not enough money.
How does this thought manifest in my life?
Well, I am a bit obsessive about checking my current financial situation. Just checking, I think to myself. Just confirming that there is still enough today.
I’m also a bit obsessive about my frugality. I’m not known as the hand-me-down queen for no reason after all.
I also experience a tad (OK a lot) of pain when I spend money. It doesn’t matter if I’m spending it on something fun or on plumbing. It’s all painful.
Now this is kind of a funny aside – because I know people with the exact same fear: not enough money… that leads them to spend it as fast as they can before it does indeed run out. Same fear. Very different manifestation.
OK – back to me.
Imagine my horror when my fears around money came true! They came true to me when I separated from my husband. Suddenly it seemed like the day had come where money did indeed stop flowing into my life (after all, he was the one with the paycheque – not me). I also believed I no longer had any savings as they all went to the lawyer and him.
There is nothing like having your fears realized to make you really fearful.
My fear got so big it took over my life for a while.
Then I developed a new thought around money. That thought was that I needed to somehow figure out a way to jettison my thought of: “there is not enough” as that thought was causing me a lot of pain.
So I developed some strategies and I have been sharing those strategies with you.
One of those strategies is “stop obsessively checking your financial status – you’ll be OK.”
But what if you are that person that avoids checking your financial status…ever?
I also started spending money and finding ways to do so without pain. Maybe you’ve seen me spending that money. I’ve given myself permission to spend money on things like new clothes and going out to eat.
What if you are watching me and thinking: “well, if Renee is spending money, then it must be go time on spending?”
But I’m still not spending more than what I’m bringing in. I increased my money inflows and still make sure I’m not outspending those inflows.
But what if you never do that?
I’ve been assuming that you are like me.
But like I said earlier – sometimes my assumptions are wrong.
I will tell you something else I have come to realize about my history with money.
It was not all bad. In fact some of it was awesome.
My obsessiveness around checking my finances and cash flows have turned me into a person that has a very good understanding of how much money I need to live on.
My obsessiveness with building an emergency cushion meant I had options when my divorce did become a reality.
So now I have a different relationship with money. I think “there is enough.”
But I still keep track and I still pay attention to confirm that there is indeed enough. Sometimes I have to adjust things in my life to make sure there is enough.
Some months I have to cut back on my spending or look at new ways to bring in money.
But I need to keep paying attention to know this.
And I also have my emergency money cushion, because you know, the unexpected does happen (like plumbing emergencies – darn it – two this week – but hey I’m not even bummed because I had my emergency cushion).
I also know that my relationship with money is no longer a painful one.
So what are you thoughts around money and what kind of relationship do you have?